Your Weekly Miami.Myopenbar.com Listings‏

National Hotel
1677 Collins Ave.,
South Beach
305-532-2311

Friday, August 15th
complimentary chicken wings and other appetizers, entire bar 2-for-1 / 5:00pm-10:00pm
Foofy consumer rights groups in the UK claim that "buy one get one free" is a deceptive business practice, and as a result such offers are often dubbed "buy one, throw the other away". Where's the trash? This just became a true open bar. WED | THURS | FRI | SAT | SUN | MON | TUES Wednesday, August 13th
Wine Down Wednesdayscomplimentary wine if you roll the dice and get a 2 or 5, no cover / 5:00pm-8:00pm
Conrad Hilton Hotel, Level 25
1395 Brickell Ave.,
Brickell
305-503-6500


Here's the deal, Johnny Vegas: roll a 2 or a 5 and you get a free glass of tasty vino. Don't and you pay $5, still about 1/3 of what this Hilton-owned bar charges for its grapes. I know that sorta sucks (get it?), but at least you can enjoy the sickest (maybe the only sick) view of downtown mia.
Happy Houropen bar champagne for chicas, 2-for-1 mojitos for the dudes / 4pm-8pm
Bodeguita del Medio
3138 Coral Way,
Coral Way
305-441-7016


Look, you grew some cajones and now have a date with a sweet latin dime. Show her you're not the type of gringo who thinks Bongos is for real and take her to this spot, which is filled with poets, businessmen, and others in search of good latin music, inventive modern Cuban fare, and arguably the most killer selection of mojitos in the city. C'mon, asere, make it happen.
Happy Hour!1/2 price entire bar / 5:30pm-7:30pm
Domo Japones
4000 NE 2nd Ave.,
Wynwood


Well, at least for two hours a day this artsy 'hood caters to artsy wallets. If they really behave, maybe -- just maybe -- there will be a place to snag a $20 blue plate special just around the corner!
New Wednesdays!Complimentary well drinks, no cover / 5:00pm-7:00pm
Uva
2626 Ponce de Leon Blvd.,
Coral Gables


I know what you're thinking: "why should I go to the GABLES when there is so much to be consumed elsewhere? Well, it's simple: vive en Miami, dude. Translation: disco, salsa, and marengue all become considerably easier after 6 vodka tees.
Free Beercomplimentary Amber Bock with $15 food purchase / 5:00pm-close
Sushin
10501 N Kendall Dr,
Kendall


Saru mo ki kara ochiru: "everyone makes mistakes." So what will be yours, Daniel-San, after poppin' back Uni and flooding your gyoza-filled insides with Amber Bock? We don't care. Sweep the leg, Johnny. Sweep the leg.
WED | THURS | FRI | SAT | SUN | MON | TUES Thursday, August 14th
Money Shot Thursdays2-4-1 everything, no cover til midnight / 10:00pm-11:00pm & 3:00am-4:00am
Vagabond
30 NE 14th St.,
Overton
305-379-0508


Isn't Money Shot that awful Canadian band that thought its profane name would somehow generate good music like Toronto's Holy Fuck or Vancouver's New Pornographers? Yeah, that's them. Idiots.
New Thursdays!Complimentary well drinks, no cover / 5:00pm-7:00pm
Uva
2626 Ponce de Leon Blvd.,
Coral Gables


I know what you're thinking: "why should I go to the GABLES when there is so much to be consumed elsewhere? Well, it's simple: vive en Miami, dude. Translation: disco, salsa, and marengue all become considerably easier after 6 vodka tees.
Mee Drunk NaoFree draft beer with $10 food purchase / 11:30 am - 11:00 pm
Sum Yum Gai
1403 Washington Ave.,
South Beach
305-604-8889


Fine, that's not the real event title. Sum Yum doesn't have time for clever headlines and glossy flyers. But that's certainly how most denizens feel after a plate of Kung Pao chicken and 72 ounces of swipe.
Happy HourHalf-off all liquor, 40% off beer / 4:00pm-8:00pm
Monty's Raw Bar
300 Alton Rd.,


You're lost in Margaritaville and NO, there is no woman to blame for that, asshole. You came here on your own.
WED | THURS | FRI | SAT | SUN | MON | TUES Friday, August 15th
Vagabond Fridays$1 Stella and PBR, no cover / 10pm-12am
Vagabond
30 NE 14th St.,
Overton
305-379-0508


Dolla beer from Leuven and Milwaukee, Jenny Lewis lookalikes abound, and that intoxicating Hercules and Love Affair track. Now THAT'S change I can believe in. This week: the sounds of Airship Rocketship.
Happy Hourcomplimentary chicken wings and other appetizers, entire bar 2-for-1 / 5:00pm-10:00pm
National Hotel
1677 Collins Ave.,
South Beach
305-532-2311


Foofy consumer rights groups in the UK claim that "buy one get one free" is a deceptive business practice, and as a result such offers are often dubbed "buy one, throw the other away". Where's the trash? This just became a true open bar.
Happy Hourcomplimentary hors d'oeuvres, $6 cocktails / 6:00pm-7:00pm
Conrad Hilton Hotel, Level 25
1395 Brickell Ave.,
Brickell
305-503-6500


If you don't want to drop a hex on a killer cocktail, show up for the toothsome bites (courtesy of Chef Michael Gilligan), which will no doubt be reproduced in liquid form at 2:45 am somewhere between The Room and, well, your bathroom.
Happy Hour Fridays!$2 sake mojitos, $1 sake shooters, no cover / 6:00pm-8:00pm
Moonchine Asian Bistro
7100 Biscayne Blvd.,
Biscayne Corridor


During World War II, Kamikaze pilots drank sake prior to carrying out their missions. I suggest you do the same before launching a full-throttle offensive on your Naoko Yamano-inspired waitress.
Cocktail HourComplimentary hors d'oeuvres and champagne, no cover, drink specials all night after 8:00pm / 6:00pm-8:00pm
View Bar
10295 Collins Ave.,
Regent Bal Harbour Hotel


So they tell me the original name chosen for Bal Harbour was Bay Harbour. However, the planning committee didn't think that was appropriate for a city that was on the beach. Thus, the "b" was taken from the word bay and the "a" and "l" were taken from the word Atlantic; hence the word "Bal" was created. Man, the excuses we drum up for being just plain hammered are fucking incredible.
Happy Days of Summer1/2 price entire bar / 3:00pm-7:00pm
Pelican Bar & Restaurant
826 Ocean Dr.,
South Beach
305-673-1000


A folktale from India says that a pelican killed her young by rough treatment but was then so contrite that she resurrected them with her own blood. You're probably filling similarly contrite, spending your afternoons on Ocean getting blasted. Fuckin' lush.
Happy HourHalf-off all liquor, 40% off beer / 4:00pm-8:00pm
Monty's Raw Bar
300 Alton Rd.,


You're lost in Margaritaville and NO, there is no woman to blame for that, asshole. You came here on your own.
WED | THURS | FRI | SAT | SUN | MON | TUES Saturday, August 16th
A Night Time AffairComplimentary Belvedere Vodka, no cover, RSVP at http://miaminewtimes.com/polls/guestlist/ / 11:00pm-12:00am
Vagabond
30 NE 14th St.,
Overton
305-379-0508


A night time affair? C'mon, there's really no point in lending sophistication to an evening that starts with an hour of free vodka and ends with your head buried in an Overtown toilet, looking for that $200 bag of baking soda like you're Ewan Mc-fucking-Gregor.
Back Door BambyComplimentary Belvidere cocktails, no cover / 10:00pm-11:00pm
Vagabond
30 NE 14th St.,
Overton
305-379-0508


A little less Mott the Hoople and a little more "hey I have friends that are gay", but all in all, if you don't have fun at this party (which has been going on forever), you'll probably realize why you never get laid.
Mee Drunk NaoFree draft beer with $10 food purchase / 11:30 am - 11:00 pm
Sum Yum Gai
1403 Washington Ave.,
South Beach
305-604-8889


Fine, that's not the real event title. Sum Yum doesn't have time for clever headlines and glossy flyers. But that's certainly how most denizens feel after a plate of Kung Pao chicken and 72 ounces of swipe.
Red Bull Saturdays2-for-1 Red Bull Vodkas, no cover / 6:00pm-10:00pm
Hemisphere Bar
1601 Collins Ave.,
Inside the Loews Hotel
South Beach
305-604-1601


Here's a way to ensure you won't be in need of Bolivian marching powder come 3:00 a.m.
WED | THURS | FRI | SAT | SUN | MON | TUES Sunday, August 17th
Happy Hour Sun ShowerComplimentary cocktails, no cover / 7:00pm-8:00pm
The Catalina Hotel & Beach Club
1732-1756 Collins Avenue,
South Beach
305-674-1160


It's Sunday and you look like shit, so why not come here and stare at all the people who look like Natalie fucking Portman, even while nursing a 24-hour coke hangover and a weekend void of bathing.
Signature Cocktail Night2-for-1 / 6:00pm-10:00 pm
Hemisphere Bar
1601 Collins Ave.,
Inside the Loews Hotel
South Beach
305-604-1601


It's Sunday, do you REALLY need another drink? Sunday, bloody fucking Sunday.
WED | THURS | FRI | SAT | SUN | MON | TUES Monday, August 18th
Mee Drunk NaoFree draft beer with $10 food purchase / 11:30 am - 11:00 pm
Sum Yum Gai
1403 Washington Ave.,
South Beach
305-604-8889


Fine, that's not the real event title. Sum Yum doesn't have time for clever headlines and glossy flyers. But that's certainly how most denizens feel after a plate of Kung Pao chicken and 72 ounces of swipe.
Happy Days of Summer1/2 price entire bar / 3:00pm-7:00pm
Pelican Bar & Restaurant
826 Ocean Dr.,
South Beach
305-673-1000


A folktale from India says that a pelican killed her young by rough treatment but was then so contrite that she resurrected them with her own blood. You're probably feeling similarly contrite, spending your afternoons on Ocean getting blasted. Fuckin' lush.
Beer Night2 for 1 draft beer, no cover / 6:00pm-10:00pm
Hemisphere Bar
1601 Collins Ave.,
Inside the Loews Hotel
South Beach
305-604-1601


Nobody's here except the four drunken whores who missed their flight back to Charlotte last night. But the beer is cheap and the week is young.
WED | THURS | FRI | SAT | SUN | MON | TUES Tuesday, August 19th
1/2 price wine night!all bottles of wine 1/2 off / 6:00pm-close
Novecento
1080 Alton Rd.,
Miami Beach
South Beach
305-531-8100


Monday I am always poor. Wednesday, Thursday, Friday too. Oh, Saturday can't spend a dime on you, but Tuesday, I'm in love. She may not like The Cure, but she'll be your Lovecat after a few bottles of discounted Mendoza.
Shuffle Tuesdays2-for-1 well drinks, Maker's Mark, Jack Daniels, and more, no cover / 11:00pm-3:00am
Fox's
6030 S Dixie Hwy.,


Fox's also offers a handy carryout service that stays open almost all night. So if you need to get back to the beach, pick up a few road sodas for the trip back.
1/2 price wines!1/2 price wines, no cover / 6:00pm-10:00pm
Hemisphere Bar
1601 Collins Ave.,
Inside the Loews Hotel
South Beach
305-604-1601


There's still nobody here.
Happy HourHalf-off all liquor, 40% off beer / 4:00pm-8:00pm
Monty's Raw Bar
300 Alton Rd.,


You're lost in Margaritaville and there is no woman to blame for that, asshole. You came here on your own.
EVERY DAY
Happy HourComplimentary Beefeater Gin, Dewars Scotch, and Absolut Vodka, on ice or with soda / 7:00pm-8:00pm
Whitehall Hotel
808 Collins Ave.,
Apt. 309
South Beach


The real reason for drinking is the desire to behave a certain way, and to subsequently be able to blame it on alcohol. So take this hour to justify the handjob you'll try to procure at 4:00am from your roommate's little cousin. In a cab.
Happy Hourentire bar 2 for 1 / 8:00am-7:00pm
Mac's Club Deuce
222 14th St,
South Beach


Oh, I know what you're thinking. "Dude, this is NOT an open bar." Simmer down, tight-fisted twat. When drinks are already about as cheap as a roadside arepa, the least you could do is cough up a coupla quarters and make it appear as if you serve some purpose in life.
Happy HourComplimentary vodka, rum, and gin, no cover / 7:00pm-8:00pm
Chesterfield Hotel
855 Collins Ave,
South Beach
305-531-5831


Well, the truth is, I'll know more by 8:00.
Happy Hour2-for-1, entire bar / 5:00pm-7:00pm
Clinton Hotel
825 Washington Ave.,
South Beach
305-938-4040


Any place that names its restaurant Ratatouille immediately after a film of the same name strikes it big is respectfully shady in my book. I'll drink to that.
Happy Hour2-for-1, entire bar / 4:00pm-8:00pm
Indian Creek Hotel
2727 Indian Creek Dr.,
South Beach
305-531-2727


Get your date drunk enough so she won't want to eat at the delicious Creek 28, which won't be 2-for-1.
Happy Hour2-for-1 Everything / 12:00pm-12:00am
Bellini
510 Ocean Dr.,
South Beach


This address changes hands more often than Pee Wee Herman at the movies. n.b. -- This place is now called Barolo; same deal.
Happy HourHappy Hour! Everything full-price! / 4:00pm-7:00pm
Segafredo Brickell
1421 S. Miami Ave.,
Brickell


That's right, folks, they call it happy hour simply because "happy people come." At least that's what I was told by the staff. Whatever. This place blows; it's like Vidal Sasoon and Starbucks had anal sex.