Wednesday, July 2, 2008

Best places to drink for free in Miami from Miami.Myopenbar.com

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July 2nd - July 8th, ' 08

This land is your land, this land is my land, from the South of Fifth Street, to the Upper Eastside Garden. So get your drink on, and leave your light on, I'll be looking for ass at 2 or 3!

Yo! BBQ!
PS14
28 NE 14th St.,
Overtown
305-358-3600

Wednesday, July 2nd
Ladies drink for free, $1 draft beer for the dudes, $5 BBQ for all, free ping pong, no cover / 10:00pm-12:00am
A cursory glance at the ITTF (International Table Tennis Federation) rankings reveals that not even one American is ranked in the World's top 20 players. Maybe it's because we insist on practicing while guzzling cheap beer and inhaling pulled pork in a venue more fit for a Hot Chip afterparty than an Olympic training ground. Fucking pathetic. (And fun). WED | THURS | FRI | SAT | SUN | MON | TUES Wednesday, July 2nd
Tara Solomon's Birthday PartyComplimentary exotic Moet Chandon champagne cocktails, classic martinis, and canapes, no cover / 9:00pm-gone
The Forge
432 41st St.,
South Beach


As a warm-up for the Holiday weekend, take a shower, RSVP to 305-864-3434. ext. 107, and get ready to rub elbows with Miami's gadabouts in honor of the Herald's former nightlife columnist turned marketing machine. God bless America.
Yo! BBQ!Free drinks for the ladies, $1 beers for the dudes, $5 bbq for everyone, free ping pong / 10:00pm-12:00am
PS14
28 NE 14th St.,
Overtown
305-358-3600


A cursory glance at the ITTF (International Table Tennis Federation) rankings reveals that not even one American is ranked in the World's top 20 players. Maybe it's because we insist on practicing while guzzling cheap beer and inhaling pulled pork in a venue more fit for a Hot Chip afterparty than an Olympic training ground. Fucking pathetic. (And fun).
Happy Houropen bar champagne for chicas, 2-for-1 mojitos for the dudes / 4pm-8pm
Bodeguita del Medio
3138 Coral Way,
Coral Way
305-441-7016


Look, you grew some cajones and now have a date with a sweet latin dime. Show her you're not the type of gringo who thinks Bongos is for real and take her to this spot, which is filled with poets, businessmen, and others in search of good latin music, inventive modern Cuban fare, and arguably the most killer selection of mojitos in the city. C'mon, asere, make it happen.
New Wednesdays!Complimentary well drinks, no cover / 5:00pm-7:00pm
Uva
2626 Ponce de Leon Blvd.,
Coral Gables


I know what you're thinking: "why should I go to the GABLES when there is so much to be consumed elsewhere? Well, it's simple: vive en Miami, dude. Translation: disco, salsa, and marengue all become considerably easier after 6 vodka tees.
Free Beercomplimentary Amber Bock with $15 food purchase / 5:00pm-close
Sushin
10501 N Kendall Dr,
Kendall


Saru mo ki kara ochiru: "everyone makes mistakes." So what will be yours, Daniel-San, after poppin' back Uni and flooding your gyoza-filled insides with Amber Bock? We don't care. Sweep the leg, Johnny. Sweep the leg.
Wednesdays @510complimentary apple martinis with Curacao, apple liquor, and Palm Vodka, no cover / 8:00pm-9:00pm
510 Ocean
510 Ocean Dr.,
South Beach


I'm in finance, yes. That's why I'm here, I meet clients here. I like the ocean breeze, the ubiquitous South Beach lounge music. And I LOVE Palm vodka. It's my drink of choice. Shit, gotta run, it's 9:00, markets are opening in, er, Tokyo, or Zimbabwe, or, shit, cya.
Artist Meet-And-Greetcomplimentary wine, hors d'oeuvres, no cover / 7:30pm-9:30pm
Red Bar
52 SW 10th St.,
786-316-0303


So you OWN this bar? And the art on the wall, these are YOUR friends? Wait, so you're friends with REAL artists? That's awesome, bro, and thanks for the fancy chow and vino!
Happy HourHalf-off all liquor, 40% off beer / 4:00pm-8:00pm
Monty's Raw Bar
300 Alton Rd.,


You're lost in Margaritaville and there is no woman to blame for that, asshole. You came here on your own.
WED | THURS | FRI | SAT | SUN | MON | TUES Thursday, July 3rd
Dinner & A MovieComplimentary movie, popcorn, putt-putt, $3 beer, and picnic mats, $7 donation (one free drink included) / 7:00pm-???
Upper EastSide Garden
7244 Biscayne Blvd.,
Upper Eastside
305-984-3231


Tonight, the Upper East screens The Importance of Being Earnest: "The only way to behave to a woman is to make love to her, if she is pretty, and to some one else, if she is plain." And, unfortunately, to both of them once you're toasted.
Mee Drunk NaoFree draft beer with $10 food purchase / 11:30 am - 11:00 pm
Sum Yum Gai
1403 Washington Ave.,
South Beach
305-604-8889


Fine, that's not the real event title. Sum Yum doesn't have time for clever headlines and glossy flyers. But that's certainly how most denizens feel after a plate of Kung Pao chicken and 72 ounces of swipe.
Mojito Madness2-for-1 mojitos, no cover / 6:00pm-10:00pm
Hemisphere Bar
1601 Collins Ave.,
Inside the Loews Hotel
South Beach
305-604-1601


By the time you leave, you'll be sauced, along with the female "analysts-gone-wild" from Boston.
New Thursdays!Complimentary well drinks, no cover / 5:00pm-7:00pm
Uva
2626 Ponce de Leon Blvd.,
Coral Gables


I know what you're thinking: "why should I go to the GABLES when there is so much to be consumed elsewhere? Well, it's simple: vive en Miami, dude. Translation: disco, salsa, and marengue all become considerably easier after 6 vodka tees.
86Collective in MiamiComplimentary Ruby Rei Rum and rum-infused foods, no cover / 7:00pm-10:00pm
SET
320 Lincoln Rd.,
South Beach
305-531-2800


Doctors say demonic dreams are a common side-effect of alcohol detoxification. However, when you wake up Friday at 5:00am to the horrifying chant of "Redrum, Redrum," keep in mind it's more likely cocktail recall than a Stephen King-directed nightmare.
Champagne Happy HourComplimentary champagne, no cover / 5:30pm-gone
Ortanique
278 Miracle Mile,
Coral Gables


An Ortanique is a type of orange. Tonight, I prefer apples. Save this spot for when your parents come to town (or when that MILF from Aventura you met at Epicure wants to rendevous).
Happy HourHalf-off all liquor, 40% off beer / 4:00pm-8:00pm
Monty's Raw Bar
300 Alton Rd.,


You're lost in Margaritaville and NO, there is no woman to blame for that, asshole. You came here on your own.
WED | THURS | FRI | SAT | SUN | MON | TUES Friday, July 4th
Vagabond Fridays$1 Stella and PBR, no cover / 10pm-12am
Vagabond
30 NE 14th St.,
Overton
305-379-0508


Dolla beer from Leuven and Milwaukee, Jenny Lewis lookalikes abound, and that intoxicating Hercules and Love Affair track. Now THAT'S change I can believe in.
Yuca Fridays2-for-1 mojitos, free salsa lessons, no cover / 8:00pm-10:30pm
Yuca
501 Lincoln Rd.,
Apt. 309
South Beach


Cuban-style salsa, also called Casino, can be danced either on the down beat or the upbeat. Beats 1,3,5 and 7 are downbeats and 2,4,6 and 8 are upbeats. In other words, you're screwed. So before you try your luck at the Casino, suck down a few of Miami's finest mojitos. Y baila, amigo. Baila.
Happy Hourcomplimentary chicken wings and other appetizers, entire bar 2-for-1 / 5:00pm-10:00pm
National Hotel
1677 Collins Ave.,
South Beach
305-532-2311


Foofy consumer rights groups in the UK claim that "buy one get one free" is a deceptive business practice, and as a result such offers are often dubbed "buy one, throw the other away". Where's the trash? This just became a true open bar.
Happy Hourcomplimentary hors d'oeuvres, $6 cocktails / 6:00pm-7:00pm
Conrad Hilton Hotel, Level 25
1395 Brickell Ave.,
Brickell
305-503-6500


If you don't want to drop a hex on a killer cocktail, show up for the toothsome bites (courtesy of Chef Michael Gilligan), which will no doubt be reproduced in liquid form at 2:45 am somewhere between The Room and, well, your bathroom.
Riot Riot RiotComplimentary well vodka drinks, no cover before midnight / 11:00pm-12:00am
Rokbar
1905 Collins Ave.,
Apt. 309
South Beach


Ding dong! Here come the dooshbags! But you know what? Here also comes an hour of feeling like you're a baller and not a pathetic gutterfuck. Have fun, bro!
Happy Hour Fridays!$2 sake mojitos, $1 sake shooters, no cover / 6:00pm-8:00pm
Moonchine Asian Bistro
7100 Biscayne Blvd.,
Biscayne Corridor


During World War II, Kamikaze pilots drank sake prior to carrying out their missions. I suggest you do the same before launching a full-throttle offensive on your Naoko Yamano-inspired waitress.
Happy HourHalf-off all liquor, 40% off beer / 4:00pm-8:00pm
Monty's Raw Bar
300 Alton Rd.,


You're lost in Margaritaville and NO, there is no woman to blame for that, asshole. You came here on your own.
WED | THURS | FRI | SAT | SUN | MON | TUES Saturday, July 5th
Back Door BambyComplimentary Belvidere cocktails, no cover / 10:00pm-11:00pm
Vagabond
30 NE 14th St.,
Overton
305-379-0508


A little less Mott the Hoople and a little more "hey I have friends that are gay", but all in all, if you don't have fun at this party (which has been going on forever), you'll probably realize why you never get laid.
Official Gilberto Gil AfterpartyComplimentary Moleca Cachaca caiparinhas, no cover / 10:30pm-1:00am
The Catalina Hotel & Beach Club
1732-1756 Collins Avenue,
South Beach
305-674-1160


Didn't get to see the legendary Brazilian musician's set at the Filmore tonight? Who cares, come dance your Diplo off!
Mee Drunk NaoFree draft beer with $10 food purchase / 11:30 am - 11:00 pm
Sum Yum Gai
1403 Washington Ave.,
South Beach
305-604-8889


Fine, that's not the real event title. Sum Yum doesn't have time for clever headlines and glossy flyers. But that's certainly how most denizens feel after a plate of Kung Pao chicken and 72 ounces of swipe.
Red Bull Saturdays2-for-1 Red Bull Vodkas, no cover / 6:00pm-10:00pm
Hemisphere Bar
1601 Collins Ave.,
Inside the Loews Hotel
South Beach
305-604-1601


Here's a way to ensure you won't be in need of Bolivian marching powder come 3:00 a.m.
The Forge Saturday NightComplimentary champagne for ladies, no cover before midnight / 11:00pm-5:00am
The Forge
432 41st St.,
South Beach


Golddiggers -- spray on that tan, grab your sparkliest bag, and apply waterproof mascara (summer's here). It's all the free Freixenet you can drink! That is, until you've (1) nabbed that hot 73-old sugardaddy, who'll keep you in Perrier Jouet, or (2) puked down the front of your caftan.
WED | THURS | FRI | SAT | SUN | MON | TUES Sunday, July 6th
Signature Cocktail Night2-for-1 / 6:00pm-10:00 pm
Hemisphere Bar
1601 Collins Ave.,
Inside the Loews Hotel
South Beach
305-604-1601


It's Sunday, do you REALLY need another drink? Sunday, bloody fucking Sunday.
WED | THURS | FRI | SAT | SUN | MON | TUES Monday, July 7th
Mee Drunk NaoFree draft beer with $10 food purchase / 11:30 am - 11:00 pm
Sum Yum Gai
1403 Washington Ave.,
South Beach
305-604-8889


Fine, that's not the real event title. Sum Yum doesn't have time for clever headlines and glossy flyers. But that's certainly how most denizens feel after a plate of Kung Pao chicken and 72 ounces of swipe.
Free Beercomplimentary Amber Bock with $15 food purchase / 5:00pm-close
Sushin
10501 N Kendall Dr,
Kendall


Saru mo ki kara ochiru: "everyone makes mistakes." So what will be yours, Daniel-San, after poppin' back Uni and flooding your gyoza-filled insides with Amber Bock? We don't care. Sweep the leg, Johnny. Sweep the leg.
Beer Night2 for 1 draft beer, no cover / 6:00pm-10:00pm
Hemisphere Bar
1601 Collins Ave.,
Inside the Loews Hotel
South Beach
305-604-1601


Nobody's here except the four drunken whores who missed their flight back to Charlotte last night. But the beer is cheap and the week is young.
WED | THURS | FRI | SAT | SUN | MON | TUES Tuesday, July 8th
1/2 price wine night!all bottles of wine 1/2 off / 6:00pm-close
Novecento
1080 Alton Rd.,
Miami Beach
South Beach
305-531-8100


Monday I am always poor. Wednesday, Thursday, Friday too. Oh, Saturday can't spend a dime on you, but Tuesday, I'm in love. She may not like The Cure, but she'll be your Lovecat after a few bottles of discounted Mendoza.
Takeout Tuesdays!2-for-1 well drinks, no cover / 11:00pm-1:00am
Buck 15
707 Lincoln Lane (Above Miss Yip),
South Beach


It's like a teenage riot in here. Except everybody is more sexually experienced.
Shuffle Tuesdays2-for-1 well drinks, Maker's Mark, Jack Daniels, and more, no cover / 11:00pm-3:00am
Fox's
6030 S Dixie Hwy.,


Fox's also offers a handy carryout service that stays open almost all night. So if you need to get back to the beach, pick up a few road sodas for the trip back.
1/2 price wines!1/2 price wines, no cover / 6:00pm-10:00pm
Hemisphere Bar
1601 Collins Ave.,
Inside the Loews Hotel
South Beach
305-604-1601


There's still nobody here.
Happy HourHalf-off all liquor, 40% off beer / 4:00pm-8:00pm
Monty's Raw Bar
300 Alton Rd.,


You're lost in Margaritaville and there is no woman to blame for that, asshole. You came here on your own.
EVERY DAY
Happy HourComplimentary Beefeater Gin, Dewars Scotch, and Absolut Vodka, on ice or with soda / 7:00pm-8:00pm
Whitehall Hotel
808 Collins Ave.,
Apt. 309
South Beach


The real reason for drinking is the desire to behave a certain way, and to subsequently be able to blame it on alcohol. So take this hour to justify the handjob you'll try to procure at 4:00am from your roommate's little cousin. In a cab.
Happy Hourentire bar 2 for 1 / 8:00am-7:00pm
Mac's Club Deuce
222 14th St,
South Beach


Oh, I know what you're thinking. "Dude, this is NOT an open bar." Simmer down, tight-fisted twat. When drinks are already about as cheap as a roadside arepa, the least you could do is cough up a coupla quarters and make it appear as if you serve some purpose in life.
Happy HourComplimentary vodka, rum, and gin, no cover / 7:00pm-8:00pm
Chesterfield Hotel
855 Collins Ave,
South Beach
305-531-5831


Well, the truth is, I'll know more by 8:00.
Happy Hour2-for-1, entire bar / 5:00pm-7:00pm
Clinton Hotel
825 Washington Ave.,
South Beach
305-938-4040


Any place that names its restaurant Ratatouille immediately after a film of the same name strikes it big is respectfully shady in my book. I'll drink to that.
Happy Hour2-for-1, entire bar / 4:00pm-8:00pm
Indian Creek Hotel
2727 Indian Creek Dr.,
South Beach
305-531-2727


Get your date drunk enough so she won't want to eat at the delicious Creek 28, which won't be 2-for-1.
Happy HourHappy Hour! Everything full-price! / 4:00pm-7:00pm
Segafredo Brickell
1421 S. Miami Ave.,
Brickell


That's right, folks, they call it happy hour simply because "happy people come." At least that's what I was told by the staff. Whatever. This place blows; it's like Vidal Sasoon and Starbucks had anal sex.

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