Wednesday, July 9, 2008

Places to drink from myopenbar.com

July 9th - July 15th, ' 08

MAP Magazine Presents
Bombay Sapphire Art Lounge
1306 N. Miami Ave.,
Wynwood

Saturday, July 12th
Complimentary Bombay Sapphire cocktails, no cover / 7:00pm-10:00pm
What do Marcel Wanders, Yves Behar and Karim Rashid have in common?...Time's up, assface! They are all world-class designers who have collaborated with Bombay Sapphire. Expect to feel equally clueless while speaking to other patrons at this month's edition of the undeniably electric Wynwood Art Walk. WED | THURS | FRI | SAT | SUN | MON | TUES Wednesday, July 9th
Wine Down Wednesdayscomplimentary wine if you roll the dice and get a 2 or 5, no cover / 5:00pm-8:00pm
Conrad Hilton Hotel, Level 25
1395 Brickell Ave.,
Brickell
305-503-6500


Here's the deal, Johnny Vegas: roll a 2 or a 5 and you get a free glass of tasty vino. Don't and you pay $5, still about 1/3 of what this Hilton-owned bar charges for its grapes. I know that sorta sucks (get it?), but at least you can enjoy the sickest (maybe the only sick) view of downtown mia.
Artist Meet-And-Greetcomplimentary wine, hors d’oeuvres, no cover / 7:30pm-9:30pm
Red Bar
52 SW 10th St.,
786-316-0303


So you OWN this bar? And the art on the wall, these are YOUR friends? Wait, so you're friends with REAL artists? That's awesome, bro, and thanks for the fancy chow and vino!
Happy Houropen bar champagne for chicas, 2-for-1 mojitos for the dudes / 4pm-8pm
Bodeguita del Medio
3138 Coral Way,
Coral Way
305-441-7016


Look, you grew some cajones and now have a date with a sweet latin dime. Show her you're not the type of gringo who thinks Bongos is for real and take her to this spot, which is filled with poets, businessmen, and others in search of good latin music, inventive modern Cuban fare, and arguably the most killer selection of mojitos in the city. C'mon, asere, make it happen.
Wednesdays @510complimentary apple martinis with Curacao, apple liquor, and Palm Vodka, no cover / 8:00pm-9:00pm
510 Ocean
510 Ocean Dr.,
South Beach


I'm in finance, yes. That's why I'm here, I meet clients here. I like the ocean breeze, the ubiquitous South Beach lounge music. And I LOVE Palm vodka. It's my drink of choice. Shit, gotta run, it's 9:00, markets are opening in, er, Tokyo, or Zimbabwe, or, shit, cya.
New Wednesdays!Complimentary well drinks, no cover / 5:00pm-7:00pm
Uva
2626 Ponce de Leon Blvd.,
Coral Gables


I know what you're thinking: "why should I go to the GABLES when there is so much to be consumed elsewhere? Well, it's simple: vive en Miami, dude. Translation: disco, salsa, and marengue all become considerably easier after 6 vodka tees.
Happy Hour!1/2 price entire bar / 5:30pm-7:30pm
Domo Japones
4000 NE 2nd Ave.,
Wynwood


Well, at least for two hours a day this artsy 'hood caters to artsy wallets. If they really behave, maybe -- just maybe -- there will be a place to snag a $20 blue plate special just around the corner!
Free Beercomplimentary Amber Bock with $15 food purchase / 5:00pm-close
Sushin
10501 N Kendall Dr,
Kendall


Saru mo ki kara ochiru: "everyone makes mistakes." So what will be yours, Daniel-San, after poppin' back Uni and flooding your gyoza-filled insides with Amber Bock? We don't care. Sweep the leg, Johnny. Sweep the leg.
WED | THURS | FRI | SAT | SUN | MON | TUES Thursday, July 10th
Mee Drunk NaoFree draft beer with $10 food purchase / 11:30 am - 11:00 pm
Sum Yum Gai
1403 Washington Ave.,
South Beach
305-604-8889


Fine, that's not the real event title. Sum Yum doesn't have time for clever headlines and glossy flyers. But that's certainly how most denizens feel after a plate of Kung Pao chicken and 72 ounces of swipe.
Mojito Madness2-for-1 mojitos, no cover / 6:00pm-10:00pm
Hemisphere Bar
1601 Collins Ave.,
Inside the Loews Hotel
South Beach
305-604-1601


By the time you leave, you'll be sauced, along with the female "analysts-gone-wild" from Boston.
New Thursdays!Complimentary well drinks, no cover / 5:00pm-7:00pm
Uva
2626 Ponce de Leon Blvd.,
Coral Gables


I know what you're thinking: "why should I go to the GABLES when there is so much to be consumed elsewhere? Well, it's simple: vive en Miami, dude. Translation: disco, salsa, and marengue all become considerably easier after 6 vodka tees.
Hot MessComplimentary well drinks, no cover / 11:00pm-12:00am
B.E.D.
929 Washington Ave.,
305-532-9070


Celebrity sluts and beds to lay on? Fuck yeah, it's a hot mess. In my pants.
Happy Hour!1/2 price entire bar / 5:30pm-7:30pm
Domo Japones
4000 NE 2nd Ave.,
Wynwood


Well, at least for two hours a day this artsy 'hood caters to artsy wallets. If they really behave, maybe -- just maybe -- there will be a place to snag a $20 blue plate special just around the corner!
Happy HourHalf-off all liquor, 40% off beer / 4:00pm-8:00pm
Monty's Raw Bar
300 Alton Rd.,


You're lost in Margaritaville and NO, there is no woman to blame for that, asshole. You came here on your own.
WED | THURS | FRI | SAT | SUN | MON | TUES Friday, July 11th
Vagabond Fridays$1 Stella and PBR, no cover / 10pm-12am
Vagabond
30 NE 14th St.,
Overton
305-379-0508


Dolla beer from Leuven and Milwaukee, Jenny Lewis lookalikes abound, and that intoxicating Hercules and Love Affair track. Now THAT'S change I can believe in.
Yuca Fridays2-for-1 mojitos, free salsa lessons, no cover / 8:00pm-10:30pm
Yuca
501 Lincoln Rd.,
Apt. 309
South Beach


Cuban-style salsa, also called Casino, can be danced either on the down beat or the upbeat. Beats 1,3,5 and 7 are downbeats and 2,4,6 and 8 are upbeats. In other words, you're screwed. So before you try your luck at the Casino, suck down a few of Miami's finest mojitos. Y baila, amigo. Baila.
Happy Hourcomplimentary chicken wings and other appetizers, entire bar 2-for-1 / 5:00pm-10:00pm
National Hotel
1677 Collins Ave.,
South Beach
305-532-2311


Foofy consumer rights groups in the UK claim that "buy one get one free" is a deceptive business practice, and as a result such offers are often dubbed "buy one, throw the other away". Where's the trash? This just became a true open bar.
Happy Hourcomplimentary hors d'oeuvres, $6 cocktails / 6:00pm-7:00pm
Conrad Hilton Hotel, Level 25
1395 Brickell Ave.,
Brickell
305-503-6500


If you don't want to drop a hex on a killer cocktail, show up for the toothsome bites (courtesy of Chef Michael Gilligan), which will no doubt be reproduced in liquid form at 2:45 am somewhere between The Room and, well, your bathroom.
Fest Anos 80s Brazil PartyEntire Bar, 2-for-1, no cover / 10:00pm-12:00am
PS14
28 NE 14th St.,
Overtown
305-358-3600


Brush up on your Portugese, throw on your Converse, and at least pretend like you know that Domino isn't just a game played on Calle Ocho.
Happy Hour Fridays!$2 sake mojitos, $1 sake shooters, no cover / 6:00pm-8:00pm
Moonchine Asian Bistro
7100 Biscayne Blvd.,
Biscayne Corridor


During World War II, Kamikaze pilots drank sake prior to carrying out their missions. I suggest you do the same before launching a full-throttle offensive on your Naoko Yamano-inspired waitress.
Riot Riot RiotComplimentary well vodka drinks, no cover before midnight / 11:00pm-12:00am
Rokbar
1905 Collins Ave.,
Apt. 309
South Beach


Ding dong! Here come the dooshbags! But you know what? Here also comes an hour of feeling like you're a baller and not a pathetic gutterfuck. Have fun, bro!
Happy Hour!1/2 price entire bar / 5:30pm-7:30pm
Domo Japones
4000 NE 2nd Ave.,
Wynwood


Well, at least for two hours a day this artsy 'hood caters to artsy wallets. If you do your job, you'll be sauced enough to take in the sweet sounds of Induce and heckle the bankers as they stroll in for the unhappy hour.
Happy HourHalf-off all liquor, 40% off beer / 4:00pm-8:00pm
Monty's Raw Bar
300 Alton Rd.,


You're lost in Margaritaville and NO, there is no woman to blame for that, asshole. You came here on your own.
WED | THURS | FRI | SAT | SUN | MON | TUES Saturday, July 12th
MAP Magazine PresentsComplimentary Bombay Sapphire cocktails, no cover / 7:00pm-10:00pm
Bombay Sapphire Art Lounge
1306 N. Miami Ave.,
Wynwood


What do Marcel Wanders, Yves Behar and Karim Rashid have in common?...Time's up, assface! They are all world-class designers who have collaborated with Bombay Sapphire. Expect to feel equally clueless while speaking to other patrons at this month's edition of the undeniably electric Wynwood Art Walk.
Back Door BambyComplimentary Belvidere cocktails, no cover / 10:00pm-11:00pm
Vagabond
30 NE 14th St.,
Overton
305-379-0508


A little less Mott the Hoople and a little more "hey I have friends that are gay", but all in all, if you don't have fun at this party (which has been going on forever), you'll probably realize why you never get laid.
Group ShowComplimentary Artsy Booze / 7:00pm-10:00pm
Fredric Snitzer Gallery
2247 NW 1st Place,
Wynwood


A pretty dope group show featuring works by Terence Koh, Luis Gispert, Hernan Bas, Jon Pylypchuk, and Assume Vivid Astro Focus, among others. If I had any of those names I'd be playing bass for the Vandermark Five.
PrescienceComplimentary Artsy Booze / 7:00pm-10:00pm
Dorsch Gallery
151 NW 24th St.,
Wynwood


You mean you don't know what "prescience" means? Troglodyte
Gallery ProjectsComplimentary Artsy Booze / 7:00pm-10:00pm
David Castillo Gallery
2234 NW 2nd Ave.,
Wynwood


David's gallery is the kind of place you wished you lived in. Of course, you're the type of dude who doesn't have enough pennies to pay for a drink, let alone rent a killer industrial art space in Wynwood.
Martin Oppel & Cary KwokComplimentary Artsy Booze / 7:00pm-10:00pm
Emmanuel Perotin
174 NW 30th St.,
Wynwood


While you're checking out Martin's fantastic work, impress the crowd with this jape: What did the artist say to the dentist? Matisse hurt.
Mee Drunk NaoFree draft beer with $10 food purchase / 11:30 am - 11:00 pm
Sum Yum Gai
1403 Washington Ave.,
South Beach
305-604-8889


Fine, that's not the real event title. Sum Yum doesn't have time for clever headlines and glossy flyers. But that's certainly how most denizens feel after a plate of Kung Pao chicken and 72 ounces of swipe.
Red Bull Saturdays2-for-1 Red Bull Vodkas, no cover / 6:00pm-10:00pm
Hemisphere Bar
1601 Collins Ave.,
Inside the Loews Hotel
South Beach
305-604-1601


Here's a way to ensure you won't be in need of Bolivian marching powder come 3:00 a.m.
But We Look So Good In Our UniformsComplimentary Artsy Booze / 7:00pm-10:00pm
Gallery Diet
174 NW 23rd St.,
Wynwood


Tonight, an encore presentation of a Bridget Baker's "But We Look So Good in Our Uniforms," a solo exhibition of mostly video work by the South African artist. Of course, if you missed it the first time around, you're a fucking poser.
Season ReviewComplimentary Artsy Booze / 7:00pm-10:00pm
Diana Lowenstein Fine Arts
2043 N. Miami Ave.,
Wynwood


This show includes current work by gallery artists who had solo exhibitions this season, featuring point guard Felice Grodin, shooting guard Michael Loveland, small forward Gye-Hoon Park, power forward Karina Wisniewska and the man in the middle, Sergio Bazán.
Transforming LightComplimentary Artsy Booze / 7:00pm-10:00pm
Dot Fifty-One Gallery
51 NW 36 St.,
Wynwood


This month, the Dot features an exhibition of international artists, including Ruddy Candillon, whose work is sort of like an episode of Miami Vice that was shot in Tokyo. Where everybody was rolling the entire time.
WED | THURS | FRI | SAT | SUN | MON | TUES Sunday, July 13th
Happy Hour Sun ShowerComplimentary cocktails, no cover / 7:00pm-8:00pm
The Catalina Hotel & Beach Club
1732-1756 Collins Avenue,
South Beach
305-674-1160


It's Sunday and you look like shit, so why not come here and stare at all the people who look like Natalie fucking Portman, even while nursing a 24-hour coke hangover and a weekend void of bathing.
Signature Cocktail Night2-for-1 / 6:00pm-10:00 pm
Hemisphere Bar
1601 Collins Ave.,
Inside the Loews Hotel
South Beach
305-604-1601


It's Sunday, do you REALLY need another drink? Sunday, bloody fucking Sunday.
Soca Sunday @ The Biltmore1/2 off Ten Cane Rum Mojitos, Flamenco music, no cover / 2:00pm-6:00pm
Biltmore Hotel
1200 Anastasia Ave,
Coral Gables


Flamenco is a Spanish musical genre with strong, rhythmic undertones. It is often accompanied with a similarly impassioned style of dance characterized by its powerful yet graceful execution, as well as its intricate hand and footwork. None of which you'll have after trying to cure your epic hangover with four mojitos.
WED | THURS | FRI | SAT | SUN | MON | TUES Monday, July 14th
Mee Drunk NaoFree draft beer with $10 food purchase / 11:30 am - 11:00 pm
Sum Yum Gai
1403 Washington Ave.,
South Beach
305-604-8889


Fine, that's not the real event title. Sum Yum doesn't have time for clever headlines and glossy flyers. But that's certainly how most denizens feel after a plate of Kung Pao chicken and 72 ounces of swipe.
Free Beercomplimentary Amber Bock with $15 food purchase / 5:00pm-close
Sushin
10501 N Kendall Dr,
Kendall


Saru mo ki kara ochiru: "everyone makes mistakes." So what will be yours, Daniel-San, after poppin' back Uni and flooding your gyoza-filled insides with Amber Bock? We don't care. Sweep the leg, Johnny. Sweep the leg.
Beer Night2 for 1 draft beer, no cover / 6:00pm-10:00pm
Hemisphere Bar
1601 Collins Ave.,
Inside the Loews Hotel
South Beach
305-604-1601


Nobody's here except the four drunken whores who missed their flight back to Charlotte last night. But the beer is cheap and the week is young.
Happy HourHalf-off all liquor, 40% off beer / 4:00pm-8:00pm
Monty's Raw Bar
300 Alton Rd.,


You're lost in Margaritaville and NO, there is no woman to blame for that, asshole. You came here on your own.
WED | THURS | FRI | SAT | SUN | MON | TUES Tuesday, July 15th
1/2 price wine night!all bottles of wine 1/2 off / 6:00pm-close
Novecento
1080 Alton Rd.,
Miami Beach
South Beach
305-531-8100


Monday I am always poor. Wednesday, Thursday, Friday too. Oh, Saturday can't spend a dime on you, but Tuesday, I'm in love. She may not like The Cure, but she'll be your Lovecat after a few bottles of discounted Mendoza.
Takeout Tuesdays!2-for-1 well drinks, no cover / 11:00pm-1:00am
Buck 15
707 Lincoln Lane (Above Miss Yip),
South Beach


It's like a teenage riot in here. Except everybody is more sexually experienced.
Shuffle Tuesdays2-for-1 well drinks, Maker's Mark, Jack Daniels, and more, no cover / 11:00pm-3:00am
Fox's
6030 S Dixie Hwy.,


Fox's also offers a handy carryout service that stays open almost all night. So if you need to get back to the beach, pick up a few road sodas for the trip back.
1/2 price wines!1/2 price wines, no cover / 6:00pm-10:00pm
Hemisphere Bar
1601 Collins Ave.,
Inside the Loews Hotel
South Beach
305-604-1601


There's still nobody here.
Happy HourHalf-off all liquor, 40% off beer / 4:00pm-8:00pm
Monty's Raw Bar
300 Alton Rd.,


You're lost in Margaritaville and there is no woman to blame for that, asshole. You came here on your own.
EVERY DAY
Happy HourComplimentary Beefeater Gin, Dewars Scotch, and Absolut Vodka, on ice or with soda / 7:00pm-8:00pm
Whitehall Hotel
808 Collins Ave.,
Apt. 309
South Beach


The real reason for drinking is the desire to behave a certain way, and to subsequently be able to blame it on alcohol. So take this hour to justify the handjob you'll try to procure at 4:00am from your roommate's little cousin. In a cab.
Happy Hourentire bar 2 for 1 / 8:00am-7:00pm
Mac's Club Deuce
222 14th St,
South Beach


Oh, I know what you're thinking. "Dude, this is NOT an open bar." Simmer down, tight-fisted twat. When drinks are already about as cheap as a roadside arepa, the least you could do is cough up a coupla quarters and make it appear as if you serve some purpose in life.
Happy HourComplimentary vodka, rum, and gin, no cover / 7:00pm-8:00pm
Chesterfield Hotel
855 Collins Ave,
South Beach
305-531-5831


Well, the truth is, I'll know more by 8:00.
Happy Hour2-for-1, entire bar / 5:00pm-7:00pm
Clinton Hotel
825 Washington Ave.,
South Beach
305-938-4040


Any place that names its restaurant Ratatouille immediately after a film of the same name strikes it big is respectfully shady in my book. I'll drink to that.
Happy Hour2-for-1, entire bar / 4:00pm-8:00pm
Indian Creek Hotel
2727 Indian Creek Dr.,
South Beach
305-531-2727


Get your date drunk enough so she won't want to eat at the delicious Creek 28, which won't be 2-for-1.
Happy Hour2-for-1 Everything / 12:00pm-12:00am
Bellini
510 Ocean Dr.,
South Beach


This address changes hands more often than Pee Wee Herman at the movies.
Happy HourHappy Hour! Everything full-price! / 4:00pm-7:00pm
Segafredo Brickell
1421 S. Miami Ave.,
Brickell


That's right, folks, they call it happy hour simply because "happy people come." At least that's what I was told by the staff. Whatever. This place blows; it's like Vidal Sasoon and Starbucks had anal sex.

No comments: